this semester has been feeling off, in the way my main projects are progressing.
i'm doing a comic course again wherein we're making comics about friendship. apart from on of our teachers being quite unpleasant as a person, this should be very nice. it is, really. my comic is about queerplatonic friendship and love and has a fungus metaphor and i do think it's gonna be great. i have to think that. or just not think at all about how it'll turn out, but that tends to be detrimental to projects that need as much forethought as this does. so there really is no alternative than to just believe it will be good.
what's throwing me off, really, is that my process for this comic is unfolding to be very different from that for The Infinite Search. it was very easy to be very straight-forward with that one. research, script, storyboard, draw pages, done. i had an easy time planning and deciding everything pretty much from the get-go. it was a nice, orderly process.
but with the current comic, this isn't so. i don't have a script. i had to find the scenes as i storyboarded them, had to find the plot as i pieced the storyboarded scenes together. i want to have a layer with fungus-visuals but i don't quite know what that will look like. i haven't drawn a single real mushroom for this project. i don't even know what colour the fungi will be.
it all feels very unstable, which is somewhat uncomfortable for me. and working on it feels somewhat exhausting right now. but i don't know that i have it in me to get orderly about it. maybe this comic just needs to be made this way. maybe i need to just. let it take me where it wants to go. watch as things unfold. like it is with friendships sometimes -- you can't exactly plan them. you can offer impulses but then you have to let them happen and it's not always up to you, how they develop. or something.
idk. i just feel weird about this project rn. but today also doesn't seem to be a very good drawing day for me, so. maybe that's also frustrating me a little. took me 1.5 hours earlier to sketch 2 pages where barely anything happens. gah.
★⭑✴✦✸⋆🟊⭒✶★⭑✴✦✸⋆🟊⭒✶★⭑✴✦✸⋆🟊⭒✶★⭑✴✦✸⋆🟊⭒✶★⭑✴✦✸⋆🟊⭒✶★⭑✴✦✸⋆🟊⭒✶
anyway. i was at the cinema with a friend yesterday. we watched Ach, diese Lücke, diese entsetzliche Lücke and it was great fun. It's adapted from the book of the same name by Joachim Meyerhoff and follows a young man, Joachim, who decides to become an actor after his brother's death. Because Joachim is a loser who doesn't want to confront his own emotions, dramady (drama and comedy) ensues in an incredibly german way where the drama is heartbreaking and the comedy is dry and absurd and they're happening within seconds of one-another.
Bruno Alexander, who plays Joachim, is incredible in this. he is a great typecast for this type of miserable loser, but he is also genuinely a great actor and plays this emotional rollercoaster that Joachim has going on so so well. everyone else was also great, as far as i could tell -- at least there was no point at which i felt irritated by the performance in terms of the acting.
i think that i didn't really understand a lot of the cultural jokes because 1) i am too young and 2), more crucially, i live under a rock. so i don't have the same connection to all these cultural references that the middleaged rest of the audience apparently has. but they seemed to appreciate those jokes, so. no hard feelings. and there was plenty to genuinely laugh about even for a me from rocktown. i had great fun with the dry, morbid humour of some of the situations and dialogue, and the absurdity of others.
i wish i was still able to cry as easily as i had been before T. i would have loved to cry watching this film. i wanted to so badly. there are so many moments in there where your heart cracks a little and you just want to feel the tears in your eyes, blurring your sight. but none of that for me. rest assured, though, that i cried in spirit.
if you're german (or adjacent), i would one hundred percent recommend seeing this film. ideally at the cinema with a very middleaged crowd. if you aren't, then idk if the humour translates. sometimes i feel like the reason german cinema is so unappreciated internationally is that we have a very specific kind of humour and approach to mixing humour and drama that doesn't land well with everyone else. but idk. maybe it's just that german cinema doesn't actually take itself very seriously as legitimate cinema so it self-sabotages by letting the same three guys make the same shit film over and over again literally just to formally justify the Filmförderung's existence.
but whatever. this is a good film, for once. awesome.
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