i have risen from hell

my portfolio is done. like 99%. the last 1% is publishing details like whether i get a readymag pro license for free from my uni so i am not demeaned by the readymag branding and the cryptic URL. and my friend will have to do a testrun this weekend, lest i have become so oblivious of an unassuming user and their behaviours that i have implemented stupid bullshit that nobody understands.

it's the last day of march

it's the last day of march and i am supposed to do a collage to fill this month's mini-collage-zine (a challenge i've set myself earlier this month to get myself to do more collage. you will hear more about it in due time.) instead, i am writing a blog post, because it's been a while.

portfolio hell

i often wish i could skip ahead to a point in my professional existence where i know how things work and don't have to feel so much that i have to constantly prove and legitimise myself as someone worth hiring. i simply hate unfamiliar situations -- i feel very small and inept very quickly whenever i don't know the exact workings of a process and i am not someone who can hide this ineptness. at all. i also hate "putting myself out there". i'm sure it's a self-confidence issue but it just always feels at least a little bit egotistical and self-important to try to sell people on my work, and i don't like the idea of manipulating people into caring about what i do. i do love sharing my art, especially when i'm proud of it and think it's good, but i always feel shy and icky when it comes to presenting it to specific people actively -- this is why (in theory -- we all know i hate ig atp) i've always liked putting my work on various platforms online, bc i can just throw it into the void and people can look if they care but i'm not forcing it onto anyone. anyway. you can imagine my agony over the process of putting together a portfolio to apply for internships with.

at last, my uni comic

this last thursday, i finished printing a first edition of my uni comic, The Infinite Search for a Place to Belong. i got quite emotional looking through the printed sheets of this thing that i spent the past four months working on. i made this and now it's real. and you can read it (or give me 3€ for all my hard work and then read it). and i'm gonna tell you all about it now.

there it is. i made this.

on theory and praxis (or, trying to figure out what i'm gonna write my theory course essay about)

this semester, i did a theory course about praxis. yeah, i know.

it was good and interesting and we had some very nice, lively discussions at every meeting, but now as it comes to writing the obligatory assignment, i don't quite know what to say and where i stand. i'm writing this as a sort of stream of consciousness and i'm writing it here in hopes that the informal, fun, unjudging blog-context will only allow me to think more freely.

so, what is theory and what is praxis and how are they relational to one-another and how can they be reconciled? and where in my practical work comes theory into play if at all, and how? i guess this is what the assignment is.