songs that are sex and songs that are about sex (and both or neither etc)

i have devised a venn diagram:

employed now. sort of

i should be drawing birds and plants right now. but i feel like writing. so. some stuff that's happened:

dockville wasn't my thing (surprising noone)

last year i participated in an art contest hosted by the german beverage (chiefly cola) company fritz who were long the young and woke (and local) opponent to the big cola & lemonade companies but this year went loser-mode and sponsored a political event for the CDU, german's centre-right "christian" party. so i'm not even mad now that i didn't even get shortlisted in that contest. but i did win tickets to a fritz-sponsored 2026 festival of my choice, and me and my friend (who was the obvious choice to ask to come along), decided on the MS Dockville festival in hamburg. it's relatively small (compared to, i imagine, something like Rock am Ring), seemed most compatible with our tastes in music, and its timing suited both our schedules the best.

moving within the comfort of my own home (& cheesecake)

i have moved into a different room in my apartment. this was two weeks ago, and i've gotten very comfortable with it in the meantime.

finally, the him (& a lovely party & a video game recommendation)

the him

getting back into sewing (though i never really got out of it? just not a thing i do regularly.)

i have survived this heatwave. we are back to normal warm temperatures in the mid to high 20s and things aren't all warmed up anymore. i am also getting back into sewing.

make a terrible comic day (and life)

today is make a terrible comic day. so i made a terrible comic. behold:

an old comic, and a new one

last year around christmas, i was missing my friend and drew a comic on the train about it, and then i never coloured it. well, on friday night, i coloured it. so here it is:

animating again (and things that happened this week)

i've started animating again.

my week in the big city (and other, smaller things)

i am not made for the big city. i've known this forever. but last week (may 4th-10th) i spent all of it in big cities. i went to frankfurt for a uni field trip, and then to [shudders] berlin for Comic Invasion Berlin. and i'm never doing all that again. that's a lie, probably. but i don't wanna have that many people around me again for a really long time.

i watched a trans documentary and have things to say (and other things that happened this week)

okay, so last tuesday night i watched Mein Kind ist trans* - Was nun? (lit: My kid is trans* - now what?), a SWR documentary from this month that explores how families with trans kids experience and deal with the coming out, questions of (medical) transition and (marginally) the general repercussions of having a family member be trans. in this, the doc highlights the specific experiences of three german families. it pissed me off a little. it made me feel a little bit insane.

creative processes are weird, and an awesome cinema experience

this semester has been feeling off, in the way my main projects are progressing.

killing instagram 2026 (and opt-in-SPAM)

i have deleted instagram off my phone. this was last sunday (april 12) and my life has been bliss ever since. well.

a beautiful day (for no reason in particular. heh.)

i am 24 years old. wowie.

i have risen from hell

my portfolio is done. like 99%. the last 1% is publishing details like whether i get a readymag pro license for free from my uni so i am not demeaned by the readymag branding and the cryptic URL. and my friend will have to do a testrun this weekend, lest i have become so oblivious of an unassuming user and their behaviours that i have implemented stupid bullshit that nobody understands.

it's the last day of march

it's the last day of march and i am supposed to do a collage to fill this month's mini-collage-zine (a challenge i've set myself earlier this month to get myself to do more collage. you will hear more about it in due time.) instead, i am writing a blog post, because it's been a while.

doing a dangerous thing (starting a post at 11:30 pm)

i may be autistic. this is what this post is gonna be about i guess. cause it's been a present topic again recently and i need to kind of get used to claiming that descriptor for myself.

playing Dracula (1986) (part 1)

in researching for my vampire-themed semester project from last year, i stumbled upon Dracula, a video game from 1986 for the Commodore 64. at the time, i had a first try at playing it, but died pretty early on and then got quite busy and trashed my laptop and generally just didn't come around to starting it up again. but today, Lilly Ashton's post about bad Atari 2600 games inspired me to give Dracula another go. so come and witness with me the horrors that our boy jonathan harker must endure.

portfolio hell

i often wish i could skip ahead to a point in my professional existence where i know how things work and don't have to feel so much that i have to constantly prove and legitimise myself as someone worth hiring. i simply hate unfamiliar situations -- i feel very small and inept very quickly whenever i don't know the exact workings of a process and i am not someone who can hide this ineptness. at all. i also hate "putting myself out there". i'm sure it's a self-confidence issue but it just always feels at least a little bit egotistical and self-important to try to sell people on my work, and i don't like the idea of manipulating people into caring about what i do. i do love sharing my art, especially when i'm proud of it and think it's good, but i always feel shy and icky when it comes to presenting it to specific people actively -- this is why (in theory -- we all know i hate ig atp) i've always liked putting my work on various platforms online, bc i can just throw it into the void and people can look if they care but i'm not forcing it onto anyone. anyway. you can imagine my agony over the process of putting together a portfolio to apply for internships with.

it is spring

it is spring.